As I discussed our encounter in that parking lot, my hair loose and wild. My breasts loose in the wind, my face pure without pigment. Sipping my first shitty beer ordered at the bar talking anthropologie self obsessed testing blurbs one mouth to another. It all disappeared when she said.
I should stay away.
And it awakened all the pre signs, the times I didn't listen.
And then the symbols came. Making my disassociated decision to resist you without hesitation , hesitated because that sick mindfucking chance that you could have information.
Then fear set it from discussions based on your ruthlessness.
Then the chains came, but then I realized instead to fear you I should heal you
And now at times like this I stop and think
Do I even like you at all, or do I want what I can't have.
You scare me, turn me on, inspire , disgust intrigue
I told myself I'd stay focused.
I am vulerable, loving , in heat
But I must stay away.
It's not crazy chick syndrome, unfortunately this is much deeper. That's why it has or hasn't manifested into something dark and horribly time wasting.
A date or two may be nice
I could use a distraction from you.
We all know when I get passed this confused stage
I'll be on to the next city.
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